Lately, I have found myself waking up and being a total grouch. To my hubby, to the kiddos, to the dog, and I have been trying to figure out why. So, I opened my bible the other day and started reading 1 John 2. I did not pick it for any specific reason, it just happened to be the chapter containing the verse of the day.
God opened my eyes for sure as to why I have grouchy days and why there are days I just cannot get out of the grouchy funk. It about me not spending time with God and abiding in His word. With the holidays and birthdays and sickness, I haven't been purposeful about reading my bible. And when I skip it for days and days, it is evident. The crazy thing is the bible says it will be too.
The first verse to catch my eye was verse 9, "He who says he is in the light, and hates is brother, is in darkness until now." On my grouchiest of days, it would be fair to say I have hated my brother. Most oftentimes my husband ends up taking the brunt of this "hatred." I am not yelling or screaming or calling names, but I am extremely short and disinterested with anything he says or does and even thinking not so pleasant or kind thoughts. The bible explains this hatred comes from walking in darkness, but I know God and I love Him and trust Him and put my faith in Him completely! Where does this darkness come from?
Going through the next few verses, John begins by first addressing the little children, which I believe is not to actual little children, but to those people who are young in their faith and belief in God. "Your sins are forgiven you for His name's sake." Yep, check mark I know and believe this statement. Then to fathers, or the very wise believer who is walking hand in hand with God and has for a very long time, "You have known Him who is from the beginning." I do not know if I fall into this category, but I can agree with the statement. And lastly the young men, I fall more into this range of middle-aged Christians, who know God, but have not that extremely deep relationship with Him, "You have overcome the wicked one." Well, now there's a clue. If I am having hatred towards other Christians and walking in darkness instead of light, it means I have not overcome the wicked one as I ought to have. I ask myself then, why not?
Down to verse 14 where again the young men are addressed, "You are strong, and the word of God abides in you." And, this is where I falter. God's word has not been abiding in me. I have not been making it a priority to spend time reading His words to me. The bible, the word of life, and it's been sitting on my bedside table, only to be dusted off for church on Sunday. Terrible confession, right? But if you have ever wondered why that guy or girl who claims to be a Christian is so righteous on Monday, yet rude on Friday, it may be because their bible only gets dusted off on Sunday too.
So, I have figured out my problem, but where do I go from here? Obvious answer is read my bible, but something is always getting in the way; I was up all night with a sick kiddo, or I have to make breakfast right now because the little one is screaming he wants to eat, or it's ten o'clock at night and I'm just now getting a chance to sit down and relax, and all I want to do is sleep. However, if I'm honest those are really weak excuses, and the real reason is found in verse 16, "For all that is in the world - the lust of the flesh, the lust of eyes, and the pride of life - is not of the Father but is of the world." In all of my excuses there is always a place to interject, but what about those forty-five minutes spent on social media and apps, and those two hours spent watching Netflix, and the thirty minutes spent checking emails and online shopping. Sure, there will always be crazy days where my schedule is not conducive to an early morning read, or afternoon read or evening read, but at the same time, I always seem to have time for indulging my flesh, my eyes, or my ear. I no longer have cause for wondering why I am so grouchy, but I do have an answer and solution on preventing and curing it. Psalm 119:11 "Your word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You."
Time to be purposeful in my desire to seek God. After all, seeking after God is what I am called to do as a believer. Matthew 6:33, "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." And, time to be purposeful is denying the world and the desires it has for my flesh, my eyes, and my ear. Matthew 16:24-26, "Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?""
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
Monday, January 12, 2015
Failure
I was laying in bed last night wishing I could fall asleep, but not being able to. I started thinking about all the things I needed and wanted to accomplish this week, then I started debating whether or not I should get up and start on them at midnight since I was having such a hard time falling asleep. I opted to continue lying in bed and was dwelling on this past week, and a conversation I had with a dear friend earlier in the day, and a thought popped into my head.
Where does the idea of failure come from? As a stay at home and homeschooling mom of two little ones, failure pops into my head quite a few times throughout the week. Usually it's when I've had a lesson planned out, and none of it happens. Or, when five o'clock rolls around, and I realize I have nothing at all prepared for dinner. It's always in those times I hear the little voice saying you failed again, why can't you just be better at managing your time, your house, your kids?
And all of a sudden I just want to yell at that little voice and say, "have you seen what I dealt with today!" Kids peeing on the floor, spilled milk on the carpet, toilets and a bathtub long past due for a scrubbing, fighting and yelling over a single toy car while ten other cars sit in the box, feeding, dressing, and brushing the hair of two kids under four, trying to get them to sit still for just five minutes while we read a Bible story. I mean, come on little voice, I have done a lot today, who cares if I forgot to take dinner out of the freezer. Oh wait, there is no money in the budget to go out and eat, maybe I really did fail today.
But, which just happens to be one of my favorite words in the Bible, as it is seems to always be followed by a showing of the incredible power of God, but I stop and look around and try to judge my day through God's eyes. Today, I taught my kids about God's love for them, and now as they sit playing and waiting patiently for me to pull a cooked dinner out of thin air, they are showing the same love to each other. Yes, the toilets and tub are quite disgusting, but the carpet is quite clean where I had to clean up milk and pee. Then as the kids jump up and run to play hide and seek with Daddy who just came home, I can hear my nearly two year old count perfectly to ten. Yep, we have been practicing counting too. Then, as my hubby gives me a big hug, I stop looking around me and start looking up. I look up towards heaven, where my God sits on His throne, and I know today, while it may not have gone perfect according to my plan, was not counted as a failure by my God.
I failed at striving in my flesh to accomplish all the tasks I set for myself, but I didn't fail God. The enemy is the little voice who whispers and points out all the failures. But, when my eyes stay focused on Him, I remember Psalm 139:10 "even there shall Your hand lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me." God is leading me and carrying me where I ought to go, I need only stay focused on Him. I will strive in my Spirit to be with Christ, and there can be no failure.
Where does the idea of failure come from? As a stay at home and homeschooling mom of two little ones, failure pops into my head quite a few times throughout the week. Usually it's when I've had a lesson planned out, and none of it happens. Or, when five o'clock rolls around, and I realize I have nothing at all prepared for dinner. It's always in those times I hear the little voice saying you failed again, why can't you just be better at managing your time, your house, your kids?
And all of a sudden I just want to yell at that little voice and say, "have you seen what I dealt with today!" Kids peeing on the floor, spilled milk on the carpet, toilets and a bathtub long past due for a scrubbing, fighting and yelling over a single toy car while ten other cars sit in the box, feeding, dressing, and brushing the hair of two kids under four, trying to get them to sit still for just five minutes while we read a Bible story. I mean, come on little voice, I have done a lot today, who cares if I forgot to take dinner out of the freezer. Oh wait, there is no money in the budget to go out and eat, maybe I really did fail today.
But, which just happens to be one of my favorite words in the Bible, as it is seems to always be followed by a showing of the incredible power of God, but I stop and look around and try to judge my day through God's eyes. Today, I taught my kids about God's love for them, and now as they sit playing and waiting patiently for me to pull a cooked dinner out of thin air, they are showing the same love to each other. Yes, the toilets and tub are quite disgusting, but the carpet is quite clean where I had to clean up milk and pee. Then as the kids jump up and run to play hide and seek with Daddy who just came home, I can hear my nearly two year old count perfectly to ten. Yep, we have been practicing counting too. Then, as my hubby gives me a big hug, I stop looking around me and start looking up. I look up towards heaven, where my God sits on His throne, and I know today, while it may not have gone perfect according to my plan, was not counted as a failure by my God.
I failed at striving in my flesh to accomplish all the tasks I set for myself, but I didn't fail God. The enemy is the little voice who whispers and points out all the failures. But, when my eyes stay focused on Him, I remember Psalm 139:10 "even there shall Your hand lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me." God is leading me and carrying me where I ought to go, I need only stay focused on Him. I will strive in my Spirit to be with Christ, and there can be no failure.
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Psoriasis journey: days 20&21
Oh my goodness, it has been one crazy roller coaster of a week. Little Bug was sick, then the hubby, then, little man - all with some sort of a 24-hour stomach bug, then a play date before school started up, then school starting up, then I came down with the same stomach bug, then a day with an unending migraine, then the hubs had an all day migraine today, now it's evening, the kids are asleep, and I'm ready to turn in, and it's only 9:30! And, I think that was the longest sentence ever.
But, there are things this week God has helped me to be thankful for: a dog who cleans up chunky vomit, so all I'm left to clean up is the stain; the little girl who doesn't like to cuddle, cuddling because she's sick; friends who come over to chat and the sun shining, so our kids could play happily outside together; school starting, so little man and I get to play by ourselves without big sister; school starting, so I only had one kiddo to deal with while I felt like constantly vomiting - and this one loves cuddles and sleeping with mommy in the recliner; and finally a wonderful husband who took care of the kids, the dog and the house while I was totally incapacitated.
With all that being said, I did manage to at least keep track of my meal plan this week. I'm a bit down in the dumps though, as their seems to be new patches erupting on my forehead this morning. I didn't really stray at all this week from the plan, except I've not been drinking kombucha in the evenings, as I've been waiting for my batch to finish fermenting. Tomorrow, I will be back on the slippery elm bark tea as well, as I've had a few weeks off like the book suggested. And my new batch of tea should be done as well.
Hmmm... I just looked over this past weeks meal plan and realized the last few days I have eaten a lot of wheat. I had mostly cut wheat out and replaced it with spelt, but with being ill, I just ate what was on hand. I am wondering if wheat is a contributing factor to my new spots. I will have to cut it out and see.
Without further ado, here is this weeks' meal plan(keep in mind their was a play date in there and a few days of illness, so it's not the greatest):
Breakfast - pumpkin muffin with cream cheese.
Lunch - sandwich on whole wheat bread with turkey, lettuce, and pickle.
Dinner - grilled chicken with pineapple, turkey sausage, and apple phyllo tart.
Brunch - millet with maple syrup.
Dinner - mixed green salad with white cheddar cheese, black olives, walnuts, cucumbers, carrots, and ranch dressing.
Evening beverage - kombucha orange flavored.
Breakfast - apple
Lunch - mixed green salad with white cheddar cheese, black olives, walnuts, cucumbers, carrots, mushrooms, and ranch dressing.
Dinner - pulled lamb Hawaiian style with sautéed cabbage and brown rice.
Breakfast - spelt waffles with butter and maple syrup.
Lunch - popcorn, waffles and ice cream.
Dinner - ravioli with butter and Parmesan cheese, steamed cabbage, zucchini, and mushrooms.
Breakfast - spelt waffles with homemade vanilla ice cream.
Lunch - apples and pineapple.
Dinner - over easy egg and toast with a bite of sausage.
Breakfast - nothing.
Lunch - slice of whole wheat bread.
Dinner - whole wheat crackers and a glass of lemon water.
Breakfast - millet with a bit of maple syrup.
Dinner - flatbread pizza with mozzarella cheese, black olives, and green olives.
Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world. Philippians 2:14-15
But, there are things this week God has helped me to be thankful for: a dog who cleans up chunky vomit, so all I'm left to clean up is the stain; the little girl who doesn't like to cuddle, cuddling because she's sick; friends who come over to chat and the sun shining, so our kids could play happily outside together; school starting, so little man and I get to play by ourselves without big sister; school starting, so I only had one kiddo to deal with while I felt like constantly vomiting - and this one loves cuddles and sleeping with mommy in the recliner; and finally a wonderful husband who took care of the kids, the dog and the house while I was totally incapacitated.
With all that being said, I did manage to at least keep track of my meal plan this week. I'm a bit down in the dumps though, as their seems to be new patches erupting on my forehead this morning. I didn't really stray at all this week from the plan, except I've not been drinking kombucha in the evenings, as I've been waiting for my batch to finish fermenting. Tomorrow, I will be back on the slippery elm bark tea as well, as I've had a few weeks off like the book suggested. And my new batch of tea should be done as well.
Hmmm... I just looked over this past weeks meal plan and realized the last few days I have eaten a lot of wheat. I had mostly cut wheat out and replaced it with spelt, but with being ill, I just ate what was on hand. I am wondering if wheat is a contributing factor to my new spots. I will have to cut it out and see.
Without further ado, here is this weeks' meal plan(keep in mind their was a play date in there and a few days of illness, so it's not the greatest):
Breakfast - pumpkin muffin with cream cheese.
Lunch - sandwich on whole wheat bread with turkey, lettuce, and pickle.
Dinner - grilled chicken with pineapple, turkey sausage, and apple phyllo tart.
Brunch - millet with maple syrup.
Dinner - mixed green salad with white cheddar cheese, black olives, walnuts, cucumbers, carrots, and ranch dressing.
Evening beverage - kombucha orange flavored.
Breakfast - apple
Lunch - mixed green salad with white cheddar cheese, black olives, walnuts, cucumbers, carrots, mushrooms, and ranch dressing.
Dinner - pulled lamb Hawaiian style with sautéed cabbage and brown rice.
Breakfast - spelt waffles with butter and maple syrup.
Lunch - popcorn, waffles and ice cream.
Dinner - ravioli with butter and Parmesan cheese, steamed cabbage, zucchini, and mushrooms.
Breakfast - spelt waffles with homemade vanilla ice cream.
Lunch - apples and pineapple.
Dinner - over easy egg and toast with a bite of sausage.
Breakfast - nothing.
Lunch - slice of whole wheat bread.
Dinner - whole wheat crackers and a glass of lemon water.
Breakfast - millet with a bit of maple syrup.
Dinner - flatbread pizza with mozzarella cheese, black olives, and green olives.
Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world. Philippians 2:14-15
Monday, September 1, 2014
Psoriasis journey: days 18&19
These last few days I have had a hard time following the plan to the letter. I have had a bit too much meat and not near enough veggies. Too much celebrating my birthday and not enough healthy eating, oh and I can't forget the bits of white flour. Although, it was unbleached. And then this weekend is Labor Day weekend, and we have a BBQ on Sunday and holiday Monday.
Nothing else too fancy going on, so here's the last two days' menu plan:
Breakfast - bacon and mushroom omelette.
Lunch - whole wheat chicken stuffed pitta with spinach, black olives, broccoli, mushrooms, and balsamic vinaigerette.
Dinner - ground lamb and rice with chocolate torte for dessert.
Evening beverage - kombucha lime flavor.
Brunch - puff pastry braid with bacon and eggs.
Dinner - pizza with black olives, green olives, mushroom, bacon and mozzarella cheese and chicken.
Evening beverage - kombucha tea orange flavor.
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1
Nothing else too fancy going on, so here's the last two days' menu plan:
Breakfast - bacon and mushroom omelette.
Lunch - whole wheat chicken stuffed pitta with spinach, black olives, broccoli, mushrooms, and balsamic vinaigerette.
Dinner - ground lamb and rice with chocolate torte for dessert.
Evening beverage - kombucha lime flavor.
Brunch - puff pastry braid with bacon and eggs.
Dinner - pizza with black olives, green olives, mushroom, bacon and mozzarella cheese and chicken.
Evening beverage - kombucha tea orange flavor.
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1
Friday, August 29, 2014
Psoriasis journey: days 16&17
Had a good birthday today, until I came home from dropping of dinner to a friend and found vomit all over the couch, the floor, and cushions. And then there was more, and it continued on for the rest of the evening. I am so thankful for my dog though, as he loves to lick up vomit. Of course there was still a bit of cleanup with my handy bottle of vinegar and a towel, but way better than cleaning up chunks.
Had a great birthday dinner last night. My amazingly wonderful hubby arranged for a sitter and took me out to a fancy restaurant. We had a fabulous gourmet meal. Seared scallops, duck breast, and a lovely glass of wine, just to give a hint. It's been such a fabulous birthday week: first a new camera, bowling with my kiddos, ice cream maker in the mail, date day with the hubby, and then dinner last night. It's been a wonderful, incredible week.
And to top it all off, I have definitely seen improvement in the patches. Although, I have been slacking on the plan these last few days. But, I haven't eaten any night shades! Maybe a tad to few many sweets and not enough veggies, but no night shades.
With that being said, here's the meal plans from the last two days:
Breakfast - spelt pancakes with butter, maple syrup, and ice cream(loving the new ice cream maker)!
Lunch - lamb burger on whole wheat bun with white cheddar cheese, blue corn tortilla chips, vanilla bean ice cream with a tad bit of banana pudding(we had a bbq with some friends today).
Dinner - leftover steak and a bit more ice cream(I've got to make sure all the ice cream gets eaten before it goes bad ;-)
Evening beverage - orange flavored kombucha.
Breakfast - over easy eggs and sausage.
Lunch - grilled chicken salad with feta, walnuts, apples, red onions and an apple vinaigrette dressing.
Dinner - seared scallops with garlic sauce and sea veggies, stout and molasses muffin bread, pan fried duck breast, butternut squash purée, broccoli, honey roasted carrots, and sweet potato fries, with a glass of Riesling.
Dessert - homemade chocolate tart with pecan nut crust.
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
Had a great birthday dinner last night. My amazingly wonderful hubby arranged for a sitter and took me out to a fancy restaurant. We had a fabulous gourmet meal. Seared scallops, duck breast, and a lovely glass of wine, just to give a hint. It's been such a fabulous birthday week: first a new camera, bowling with my kiddos, ice cream maker in the mail, date day with the hubby, and then dinner last night. It's been a wonderful, incredible week.
And to top it all off, I have definitely seen improvement in the patches. Although, I have been slacking on the plan these last few days. But, I haven't eaten any night shades! Maybe a tad to few many sweets and not enough veggies, but no night shades.
With that being said, here's the meal plans from the last two days:
Breakfast - spelt pancakes with butter, maple syrup, and ice cream(loving the new ice cream maker)!
Lunch - lamb burger on whole wheat bun with white cheddar cheese, blue corn tortilla chips, vanilla bean ice cream with a tad bit of banana pudding(we had a bbq with some friends today).
Dinner - leftover steak and a bit more ice cream(I've got to make sure all the ice cream gets eaten before it goes bad ;-)
Evening beverage - orange flavored kombucha.
Breakfast - over easy eggs and sausage.
Lunch - grilled chicken salad with feta, walnuts, apples, red onions and an apple vinaigrette dressing.
Dinner - seared scallops with garlic sauce and sea veggies, stout and molasses muffin bread, pan fried duck breast, butternut squash purée, broccoli, honey roasted carrots, and sweet potato fries, with a glass of Riesling.
Dessert - homemade chocolate tart with pecan nut crust.
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Psoriasis journey: days 14 & 15
I missed yet another day, but for good reason this time. Yesterday, I got an early birthday present in the mail, an ice cream maker!!! I spent the evening making some delicious vanilla bean ice cream. I have been trying to upload the pictures I took, but my computer skills seem to be lagging at nearly midnight.
I will share the recipe I used though.
Vanilla Bean Ice Cream
900 ml cream (non-UHT or raw if you can find it)
500 ml whole milk (unhomogenized if you can find it, raw is even better)
1/2 cup ground sucanat or maple syrup (I used the sucanat plus a dash of the maple syrup)
3 free range egg yolks
1.5 teaspoon vanilla
1.5 teaspoon arrowroot/tapioca starch/cornstarch (optional to give ice cream a bit more thickness)
1 vanilla bean - scraped down
Mix all the ingredients and make ice cream according to machine directions. Boom! Scrummy, delicious vanilla bean ice cream!
And here are the menus for the last two days:
Breakfast - millet with butter and maple syrup
Snack - apple
Lunch - Cod and a soft boiled egg.
Dinner - broccoli soup with cheese and ham
Breakfast - spelt pancakes with butter, maple syrup, and ice cream(loving the new ice cream maker)!
Lunch - lamb burger on whole wheat bun with white cheddar cheese, blue corn tortilla chips, vanilla bean ice cream with a tad bit of banana pudding(we had a bbq with some friends today).
Dinner - leftover steak and a bit more ice cream(I've got to make sure all the ice cream gets eaten before it goes bad ;-)
Evening beverage - orange flavored kombucha.
Therefore by the deeds of the law no flesh will be justified in His sight, for by the law is knowledge of sin. Romans 3:20
I will share the recipe I used though.
Vanilla Bean Ice Cream
900 ml cream (non-UHT or raw if you can find it)
500 ml whole milk (unhomogenized if you can find it, raw is even better)
1/2 cup ground sucanat or maple syrup (I used the sucanat plus a dash of the maple syrup)
3 free range egg yolks
1.5 teaspoon vanilla
1.5 teaspoon arrowroot/tapioca starch/cornstarch (optional to give ice cream a bit more thickness)
1 vanilla bean - scraped down
Mix all the ingredients and make ice cream according to machine directions. Boom! Scrummy, delicious vanilla bean ice cream!
And here are the menus for the last two days:
Breakfast - millet with butter and maple syrup
Snack - apple
Lunch - Cod and a soft boiled egg.
Dinner - broccoli soup with cheese and ham
Breakfast - spelt pancakes with butter, maple syrup, and ice cream(loving the new ice cream maker)!
Lunch - lamb burger on whole wheat bun with white cheddar cheese, blue corn tortilla chips, vanilla bean ice cream with a tad bit of banana pudding(we had a bbq with some friends today).
Dinner - leftover steak and a bit more ice cream(I've got to make sure all the ice cream gets eaten before it goes bad ;-)
Evening beverage - orange flavored kombucha.
Therefore by the deeds of the law no flesh will be justified in His sight, for by the law is knowledge of sin. Romans 3:20
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Psoriasis journey: day 13
I am a day behind yet again. It seems the only time I can be sure to write my posts on time is when I stay up to all hours of the night after everyone has fallen asleep.
I shall be brief and just post the meal plan for yesterday:
Breakfast - plain cheerios with milk and honey (I know this is not exactly an approved food, but it was easiest, and what the kids were eating.)
Lunch - apple.
Dinner - spelt pasts with a white cream sauce.
Evening beverage - kombucha.
Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:3-4
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)